Last night reminded me of this.

Although BIG friends weren't there, having done the MASS exodus already.  It was nerdy friend who took their place.  And paid the dinner bill.  We ate some place else, not at Bellini's; but we did go to Starbucks after going for a walk along Shoe Expo.  It was four years ago, almost exactly to the night.  I was getting wasted then for the board exam.  Now, it's Tall friend's brother who's getting ready for the same board exam.  Funny how time flies.  How it hurled us to the present with different lives and different concerns; a storied past, but still connected by the same things--food, mostly, and books and alcohol.

BIG friends left March the following year, celebrating their 23rd birthday up in the air, while I was stoically trying not to breakdown.  Things have changed since then, but we managed through the changes and the dramas of our separate lives--Tall friend's never-ending pests, BIG friends' finances and the novelty that go with living with your entire family for the first time in more than two decades, and mine, drifting off to a half-life, mostly asleep.  We have lived somewhat vicariously through each other's stories.  Mine and tall friend's ordinary lives here in Manila, and BIG friends' exciting lives outside the country, where the sight of a new guy in the office can set their hearts fluttering, dreaming of riding off to the sunset on a blue, blue caravan while balancing sheets and plates on both hands.  Feeding our hopes and dreams that one day we will all wake up 40 and single and bitter and getting at each other's throats, having coffee mixed with gin for breakfast. 

By then we would, at least, be rich.  Filthy.  BIG friends would have a collection of Hermes, cats, and boys.  Tall friend, by then, would have heartlessly killed not a few pests while jetsetting all over Europe shopping for clothes, a wedding ring, and a guy who will wear that ring.  Tall friend's parents would've built so many churches in Bicol already, ceaselessly praying that Tall friend will get married in one of them.  That would be the time when I could buy a Zegna everyday, but not the love of my life.

One foot in, one foot out.  That's what the card reader told me last week.  The first of the milestones I have been waiting for months arrived in my email last Friday.  I'm still waiting for a couple of the more important things to push through and work.  Standing on a curbside, waiting for my rocket, they will come.  Meanwhile, I should get busy and I should get ready, tie up loose ends, and make peace with the past.  Another era is ending and a new one is waiting.